Christ Centered Relationships: An Ongoing Investigation---Part I

Okay. Here we go. This is something I usually never talk about, but have given much thought. I'm taking a big step, more like a gigantic leap....a teleportation to another dimension....... out of my comfort zone and spewing my experiences, thinkings, and findings on this topic. But I feel like God has been revealing a lot to me recently and I feel the need to share. This isn't about me. It's about who I've found Him to be in it all. It's about freedom. For this first post, let's start from the beginning.

First of all, it is necessary to define what we are working with here. Relationships. For the purposes of this post, I will be referring to the relationships we consider "romantic" rather than what we would consider friendship relationships. Most things I will be writing, in reference to God's role, will overlap into friendships, but in my personal stories and such, I shall be writing in terms of the relationships we consider "romantic". (I can't really think of another qualifier at the moment, so I hope you get the picture...)

Okay, now that I've defined my terms. Here comes the background. You ready? I'm not sure I am haha. Nonetheless, lets do this.

I have never been in a relationship. I've never had a boyfriend. I've never even been on a date. After reading that sentence, you might be thinking a couple things here. 

1. Why the heck is she writing about relationships if she's never been in one? She has no idea what she's talking about!

2. Oh great, here comes the "No one loves me, I'm going to vent and go on and on on how depressed I am because I've never been in a relationship blah blah blah blah"

3. She's going to tell me that all she's found is to be single and be happy about it.

None of these is why I am writing, so if you were a bit worried, relax. It's all good.

I'm not writing to prove I'm the know-all relationship guru who will magically solve all your "love life" problems. I'm not writing to prove I know anything about anything. It's not about me. (this is one of the main points I shall get to.)

I'm not writing to give you a novel of depression and/or self-loathing because I've never been in a relationship,  because that's not the case. I'm not about to write a book about being curled up in a ball for months on end feeling a gaping whole in my being because the love of my life has run off. (That is a twilight reference. yes I've read the books. Time I will not get back.). It's not going to be that. You can keep reading.

I'm not writing to tell you what to be, whether that's single, dating, engaged, married, whatever. 

Like I said earlier, I am writing to share what I've learned. What I've learned about myself and my experiences, but more importantly, who God is and what that means for me through this all.

Now that that's out of the way, onward we go.

As previously stated, I've never been in a relationship. There was one time I was "zapped" ** by a boy in 6th grade and he put his own name  (for an explanation of the game "zap" scroll to the bottom haha). This doesn't count. Sure, I've been interested in a few guys along the way, but in the end, nothing ever became of any of them. (The "crushes", not the guys haha). 

As a result, there has been a mixture of thoughts and feelings. In high school, there were times of being bummed or disappointed about it, like not having a date to the prom or something like that. While at the same time I don't think I was ever what you would consider broken hearted or depressed because of it. The move to college brought anticipation, excitement, and nervousness with my freshman year. In college there would be boys. A lot of them. A lot more than I had in my 34-person (majority of which were girls) high school class in Floodwood. 

The beginning of my freshman year I showed up at Scholastica not knowing a thing haha. I was this geeky, not a clue what I was doing, no idea what I really wanted, "young lady" being the term most had taken to calling me at that point. I had no one from my class in the same college as I, no one I knew from any other school my age going there (that I really knew...I found I did have an acquaintance who quickly became my best friend and roommate) And I had no idea how to talk to guys haha (maybe I should call them "young men"...hmmmm ). My roommate at the time had moved her stuff in and then she had to go back home for welcome weekend because she was working. She also had a boyfriend off campus, whom she would be spending a lot of time off campus with. 

Haha I remember, there was one point in the first few days we moved onto campus where I was sitting in the lounge of the first floor of Somers, the freshman dorm (which is co-ed, separated into floors by gender), and I was playing tetris on my phone. (I find that game very entertaining....anyways) and two guys and another girl came up and sat down on the other couches and introduced themselves and were talking. These were the first guys to really introduce themselves, and they were actually very nice, and I think the one guy may have even been flirting a bit. Like I said: inept. I didn't know what to say so I gave some quick short answers and just kept playing tetris...yes, I was that awkward girl hahaha. I still see that guy on campus frequently, one time he even belayed me on the rock climbing wall. I wonder if he remembers that awkward first introduction haha

So began my college days. My freshman year did not flourish any relationships. A new crush or two, yes, but one thing that was key about my freshman year, and the following summer was rediscovering the Lord and what that manifested itself in me in terms of relationships. 

In the first couple days, long story short, I met a girl who I had played some sports against in high school. We had a mutual friend, and she was a familiar face. We became best friends over many meetings of lunch, fun, and general chemistry homework under our "Chemis-tree" and at our "periodic table" . Through her roommate, we were invited to Ultimate frisbee the first weekend on campus with a group called InterVarsity. I thought it was about sports. Little did I know (until I got there)  it was a Christian Group on campus.

 I had no intentions of seeking out a Christian group in college. Not that I was against it, I had been going to church for as long as I could remember. I got confirmed, taught Sunday school and vacation bible school, read my bible on occasion. I just hadn't decided what I wanted my college experience to be. Did I want to join the party crowd? I've heard that's what college is all about. Did I want to get involved in sports in intramurals? Did I want to be the super smart, study all the time, brainy girl? (okay, we all know I will forever be a nerd...no matter what). 

 I honestly don't remember a lot about that day. But someone, who I only spent a semester with, and I am now blessed to still call a friend, Suzanne, pursued me. She left notes on my door, talked to me, invited me to things, and got me to keep going to this "InterVarsity" thing. I remember I even went to the "Large group" kickoff they had (we had about 10 people I think) but I left a few minutes early to go out for my roommate's birthday. We went to her  friends house for a party they were throwing. 

Well I ended up going to the IV (InterVarsity) fall retreat. Who doesn't like going to camp!? I know I did. Plus I'd get to meet some new people. Sounded cool. What I got there was quite the surprise. I encountered God in a way I had never really done before. Not only did I hear the story of salvation, which I had heard, and believed at the time, but I was reintroduced to the power of it and the mission that comes with it. I realized how much God loved me and what I should be doing to help other people experience that love as well. I guess you could consider that the day God enlisted me in His army in the battle at Scholastica, and in the world haha.

Well, I think I'll stop for now here as part one. More musing to come....this story is not complete.

**Zap is a elementary school game where someone writes "Zap" and a time on the back of your hand, and a name on your palm on the inside. If you look at that name before the time on the back of your hand, you must "ask out" whomever's name is written. [ disclaimer: I have no idea how to use whom/who correctly]